Rumination: Disappointments

All my plans for walking through summer and winter had been mutable and subject to change, depending on weather and mood, but one was going to happen no matter what, and that was hitting Wild Boar Fell on 29th September. On my first trip up to Carlisle in February 2011, I saw this huge mountain that I'd never previously accounted for, and then read about it on my reading about the Eden Valley for the summer holiday, and it seemed such a tempting and under-visited walking target. However its size and lack of tracks meant it wasn't one I felt I could do without guidance, so it fell into 2012's walk schedule and I looked forward to it after seeing it snow covered in February and falling in love with Mallerstang in March, and I waited on the FOSCL group attempting it again. It came up on 7th July, but I didn't fancy it in early summer, and then the next walk was mid-week, so last time in the year was September 29th, and it was going to be a triumphant conclusion to my Dales trips and nothing was going to prevent me going...

Except getting a ferocious head cold. I'd had a really good run of not having any ailments serious enough to take me out of work, but I'd felt this feeling coming down during the Friday and my worst suspicions were confirmed come alarm call time on Saturday morning. I only had enough in the tank to stagger round the supermarket and to go to the mail office to collect my new walking stick, before heading home to slump in a heap. It was such a huge disappointment to fail to get out to the Dales again, as I'd had my heart set on conquering Wild Boar Fell for such along time, and I hadn't left enough time in my remaining schedule to fit in any more FOSCL walks before the days got too short and/or cold. That Saturday was a dark and miserable one for me, as it was a spectacular and clear day, one that would have been ideal for an encounter with the high hills. The following three days were more cold-induced misery before returning to work when running at about 75% so that I might force the remaining illness out of me.

Wild Boar Fell, where I will not be walking this year.

This left me pondering the disappointments of my first walking season, and the sheer number of walks in the Dales that had fallen from my plans was just staggering in retrospect. All told six walks went off the schedule up to the end of September and at least one more was disregarded subsequently when I decided to put an end to the first season. In compensation, this probably saved me about £100 in train fares, which is a significant sum but I missed out on more trips around Mallerstang, a visit to Hawes, getting in more route knowledge around Horton's limestone country and journeys over Whernside (twice!). Also failed to do any of the Three Peaks, and failed to get in many summits, as I've mentioned before, that failure is just perplexing. I'd also have liked to have stitched my many walks together, so that I might have a line running unbroken from Morley to my wanderings around Kirkby Stephen, but having only one unclaimed weekend before the end of walking season meant that wasn't going to happen.

The second major disappointment was regards my general health, as after getting that initial feeling of improvement over the first three months, the second half of the season has frequently left me feeling more knackered than healthy. I'm covering old ground when I say this, but the work/life balance has been doing me no favours as the sheer physical effort of work was leaving me very little in the energy reserves for my weekends. I still had enough to persevere with a rote each weekend, but as the season drew to a close I was looking forward to having weekends with nothing to do. My legs have never felt better though, but as every other muscle in my torso has ached in some way or another during the year, a more comprehensive exercise (and diet) scheme might be necessary in 2013. Not fancying the exercise DVDs much, as I don't have time for the 'celebrities' who got back in shape after having a baby, and all the ones for men seem to be done my some sort of former US marines drill sergeant who seems intent on inducing as much pain as possible, My whole theory of walking, after all, is that this is exercise lark supposed to be fun.

Oddly, the third disappointment is just how much havoc the walking has wrought on my social life, not that I had much of a social whirl to start with, but planning out four walks absorbs a whole month, and mapping out the second half of my season effectively took up every month from July to October. My sis commented to me that this left me very few opportunities to get together with her family, which I should do a my nieces could use a bit of interaction with their uncle, and I had no opportunities at all to go down country to visit my parents. Every bit of social interaction had to be planned in advance by me, so in the next season, I need to factor in a lot more free weekends, so I might be able to booze at will or go places with the extended family, and anyway having time off would allow me a bit of respite from the unending strain that is the my life at present, and 1,000 miles is a target that I still have another two years to achieve, when all is said and done.

I apologise for these moments of navel gazing, but every time I get out of the walking routine, I feel miserable, and feel that I need to provide a moment of reflection. Let's just call this psychologically shaking things loose and accept that this is done more for my benefit than for the reader, but onwards as there are nine more days of walking to report, and then the triumphs of the 2012 season can be ruminated upon, and there will be a lot more good cheer when that comes around!